On Innate Value and Self-Worth


A good friend of mine challenged me to make a list of reasons that I hold value as a person.

This is a struggle for me. I know that other people see value in me, but I am often unable to see value in myself. At some point in my childhood, I came to believe the idea that I hold no value as a person unless I am actively creating value for someone else. I don’t know where this belief came from, and I am relatively certain that no one purposely set out to indoctrinate me with that belief. Interestingly enough, I don’t believe that this holds true for other people, but I seem to hold myself to this unattainable standard all the same.

As for the list, I was able to come up with only one thing without trying: I have integrity. Integrity is extraordinarily important to me. I do not lie, I do not cheat, I do not steal, and I will not do anything that crosses my personal lines of ethical behavior, even if maintaining my ethical standards will cause trouble for me. No matter what. I was once asked how I would want people to think of me. This is my answer: I want to be thought of as a person of integrity.

Finishing the list that my friend challenged me to make is much more difficult, but here it goes.

  • I am a person of integrity.
  • I am compassionate.
  • I don’t hate anyone, not even those who were abusive to me during childhood.
  • When I love someone, I love them unconditionally.
  • I am open minded.
  • I love to learn new things.
  • I seek growth, even though it’s both terrifying and difficult.

Thank you for challenging me, Cat, and for calling me out on my need to work on this aspect of myself.


  1. Cathryn said,

    June 14, 2015 at 11:42 pm

    That’s a fantastic start to your list! 😉 the more you become aware of your worth, the more you will see it. Now that you’ve begun, remind yourself often how precious you are. And treat yourself that way. And expect others to follow suit.

  2. Cathryn said,

    June 14, 2015 at 11:49 pm

    You forgot that you’re strong. And resourceful. And forgiving. And gentle. And deep. And unassuming. And purposeful. You impact people around you.

  3. Zaman said,

    June 21, 2015 at 4:57 pm

    you are valuable. you are a person of INTEGRITY. you’re also a loving person. you are one of the most beautiful souls I have ever encountered. Thank you for sharing and thank you for reminding me what INTEGRITY is, again. I have forgotten what INTEGRITY means.

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