On Innate Value and Self-Worth

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A good friend of mine challenged me to make a list of reasons that I hold value as a person.

This is a struggle for me. I know that other people see value in me, but I am often unable to see value in myself. At some point in my childhood, I came to believe the idea that I hold no value as a person unless I am actively creating value for someone else. I don’t know where this belief came from, and I am relatively certain that no one purposely set out to indoctrinate me with that belief. Interestingly enough, I don’t believe that this holds true for other people, but I seem to hold myself to this unattainable standard all the same.

As for the list, I was able to come up with only one thing without trying: I have integrity. Integrity is extraordinarily important to me. I do not lie, I do not cheat, I do not steal, and I will not do anything that crosses my personal lines of ethical behavior, even if maintaining my ethical standards will cause trouble for me. No matter what. I was once asked how I would want people to think of me. This is my answer: I want to be thought of as a person of integrity.

Finishing the list that my friend challenged me to make is much more difficult, but here it goes.

  • I am a person of integrity.
  • I am compassionate.
  • I don’t hate anyone, not even those who were abusive to me during childhood.
  • When I love someone, I love them unconditionally.
  • I am open minded.
  • I love to learn new things.
  • I seek growth, even though it’s both terrifying and difficult.

Thank you for challenging me, Cat, and for calling me out on my need to work on this aspect of myself.

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